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Lost days, pictures fade.
Idk what to feel
Tuesday, April 6, 2010

I kinda really reflected about this and I hope you (two) have too.

Okay I did talk bad about you but I'm not the one who started all these crap first. I guess my biggest mistake was talking bad/ bitching about you to others cause that was what made everything screw up okay so that's my fault. I'm sorry, my bad.

Oh but btw are you sure you never ever expected history to repeat itself again? Cause I kind of expected something like this to happen again. And I can totally predict us patching up and quarreling again because we both know in our hearts what our own problems are and somehow our characters just clash or sth idk.

And idk what I'm feeling now honestly. It's like this whole whirlwind of feelings in me and I don't even know how I'm supposed to feel. I'm kinda angry with your post, annoyed with you, relieved because I finally know directly from your blog how you feel about this, tired of all this, and I'm stuck. I really don't know what to do now.

And I blogged all these to let you know how I feel, and not with the aim of making matters worst.

Honestly, this time I don't have too extreme feelings. Maybe cause it's the second time or sth, idk. In my heart I really hope things will change but yet I know the chance of it is low. Instead I'm disappointed with (another) you. Like I read your blog and yeah of course our friendship has changed. How do you expect me to treat you the same after everything that has happened? How do you expect me to treat you the same after all you can say to me is the same few discouraging things like "You suck" or "I hate you" or whatever. I'm not here for you to scold, I'm not here for you to vent your anger on. And I don't care whether it's a joke or not. You keep doing that everyday and it isn't a joke to me anymore. It's not that I'm angry, I'm just disappointed. And annoyed. If you hate me so much, why talk to me? Haiiiii.

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Ok I'm prepared for the worst, prepared to see people changing sides like nobody's business, prepared to see people's true colours, prepared to lose many friends.
But nevermind because no matter what, God's on my side. I pray that he'll keep me strong in times like this, and he'll give me courage and wisdom to tackle the whole problem. I pray that everything will go fine in the end, and even if it doesn't, God will open another door.
God, I'm counting on you. :)


Okay to you two again. Really this post isn't meant to make matters worst. If there's any probs or what just tell me okay plz. Cause I rlly don't know how else to communicate other than through here.